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Brief Synopsis
In a bold and deadly scheme, the evil SPECTRE organization hijacks a NATO plane and seizes two atomic warheads, each capable of killing millions of innocent people. As the world is held hostage by the threat of a nuclear nightmare, Bond jumps into action, racing against the clock as the trail leads him to tropical Nassau. There he meets Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi), a high-ranking agent of SPECTRE, and the stunning Domino (Claudine Auger), with whom Bond shares an irresistible attraction. The confrontation builds to an epic battle on the ocean floor, as Bond and his allies fight to avert a catastrophe of disastrous proportions. |
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Why It's #17
This is the first Bond movie I can say that really sucked. Coming off of the Goldfinger phenomenon would be hard to match but this thing doesnt try to even come close. The plot? A hokey story involving stolen missles and holding the world hostage for big bucks. SPECTRE, apparantly, needs some funding to continue operating their programs. Unlike other bad Bond movies, this one had no chance of ever being a good film. In other entries like Octopussy, A View to A KILL, or even Diamonds are forever, for goodness sakes, there is always some part that captivates you and makes you think... wow if only they had done THIS or THAT differently, it would have been a good movie... Thunderball, however, has no value attached to it, save for the plot which is almost comical (but a lot less painful to watch then other bad ones). The underwater scenes are slow and very boring. The bond girl is a complete dits to rival Honey Rider, and the villain? Well, when you hear the song about him you think "hey this is gonna be a cool ruthless villain"...but its just Largo, an ultimately forgettable lacky under SPECTRE's payroll.
It's not all bad though. We have a pretty tough henchman...er henchwoman. Her name is Fiona Volpa and she's pretty memorable in that she doesnt fall into the stereotypical role that every female Bond comes in ontact with does. She sleeps with him but never falls for his charms. In fact, right after they're done, she has her goons restrain the agent. She also has a pretty neat motorcycle which she uses to try and kill our favorite secret spy. But really, other than that, its just a bunch of crap. It even starts off on a boring note... after the credits Bond is sent to a spa of all places... A SPA! What the hell kinda adventure is this anyway? I guess I shouldnt joke though, cuz soon, somebody there tries to off him in an excercise machine... no, really, I'm not making that up. They plan on working him out to death.
The saddest thing about Thunderball is that one of the writers actually fought, successfully, for the rights to this movie and the Blofeld character. While the Blofeld character was cool (only in his first appearance), I don't see why anyone would want anything to do with this movie ever again. Maybe Kevin McClory thought he could revamp it make it better? Well he failed. 1983 saw the release of the first James Bond film NOT associated in any way with MGM or Eon productions. It was a rogue picture McClory produced, inticing Connery to return for what would be his last appearance. NSNA, is worse than the original, especially since the original at least has some comedic value to it (unintentionally, of course). Any fans of Austin Powers should check this one out, since it borrows the most elements out of any of the original 5 Bond movies.
| Pre Titles Sequence |
At a funeral, Bond beats up on the widow, who's really a man, baby. He apparently tried to fake his death or something. It doesnt really matter, as it's irrelevant to the rest of the plot, which funny enough, is irrelevant to the entire series. Anywhoo, the highlight of this sequence involves Bond blasting off in a jetpack. I liked this one. It's kinda nifty. |
| Credits Sequence |
Binder returned after a 2 film gap and creates what is pretty much the standard of Credit Sequences. You got your naked chick silhouettes in elegant poses, and neat concepts that reference what the movie will be about...this one...water! Not the best. With time, it just sort of became less interesting especially when you look at what was to come. For your Eyes Only, for example, uses the same concept but in a much better way. |
| Bond Song
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I'm torn over this. The original song is slow and kind of boring. However, if you listen to the David Arnold Remake, it gets a whole new life of its own. I dunno. |
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Bond Gadgets/ Cars |
Bond: "My dear girl, don't flatter yourself. What I did this evening was for King and country. You don't think it gave me any pleasure do you?"
Volpe: "But of course, I forgot your ego, Mister Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents, then immediately returns to the side of right and virtue But not this one. What a blow it must have been - you having a failure."
Fiona: "Some men just don't like to be driven."
Bond: "No, some men don't like to be taken for a ride."
Bond: "Lady's gun, isn't it?"
Largo: "Oh, do you know a lot about guns?"
Bond: "No, but I know a little bit about women." | Infrared Film Camera, jet Pack, miniature breathing apparatus, underwater jet pack, compressed air missiles with explosive heads |
